by Denise Kohlmeyer

I love problems that have a black-and-white answer, because I don’t have to think too hard about what’s the right thing to do. Do I tell the truth or lie to my boss about why I didn’t get that report done on time? Do I step on the gas pedal and speed to make my appointment?

These conundrums are easily solved. But what about those that aren’t, where a decision or solution is not so easily discerned?

Solomon

I think about King Solomon and when two women came to him fighting over a boy-child. One of the women had accidentally smothered her son and so, in the night, she stole the other woman’s son and then claimed him as her own.

An argument ensued, and the matter was taken to King Solomon, known for his wisdom. Yet both women were convincing in their pleas. Whom could Solomon believe? If it had been me in that moment, I would’ve panicked, then hemmed and hawed to stall for time.

Not Solomon. Per his reputation, wisdom guided his decision, although upon reading it, one might think otherwise. Take a sword, he instructed, and divide the child in two. Give each woman one half.

Seriously? That was certainly unorthodox, not to mention gruesome. How was that decision wise?

Yet it was. Solomon knew that the rightful mother would never let her precious son be killed. She wanted only for him to live, even if it meant losing him. The wrongful woman, on the other hand, was fine with the child being cut in two. Why? Because she was not vested emotionally in that child’s life or welfare. She did not care whether he lived or died. She cared only that she got her way — even if it was only half a child.

The boy, wisely, was given to the rightful, loving, selfless mother.

Way to wisdom

How did Solomon become so wise? After all, he was not endowed with more wisdom at birth than anyone else.

Yet at a young age — likely around twenty years old — he was thrust into the position of boy-king over Israel, after his father, King David, died. Solomon realized that the task of governing so numerous a people was too great for him. He felt like a child who didn’t know how to do his task. So when asked by God in a dream what he wanted, Solomon’s answer was a no-brainer:

“Give your servant a discerning heart to govern your people and to distinguish between right and wrong. For who is able to govern this great people of yours?’ The Lord was pleased that Solomon had asked for this. So God said to him, “Since you have asked for this and not for long life or wealth for yourself, nor have asked for the death of your enemies but for discernment in administering justice, I will do what you have asked. I will give you a wise and discerning heart, so that there will never have been anyone like you, nor will there ever be” (1 Kings 3:9-12, emphasis mine).

Even as a young man, Solomon recognized his limitations and inadequacies. He knew what was needed for this job and that he did not possess it. So, he asked for it.

Not many of us will ever find ourselves in a similar situation as Solomon’s, of governing an entire country and its many citizens. But the opportunity to become wise like Solomon exists for us all, nonetheless.

What is wisdom and why we need it

The Hebrew word for wisdom translates as “discern,” which conveys the idea of understanding, perceiving, and having insight. It encompasses a broad range of possessing intellectual insight coupled with practical abilities. Solomon possessed a high level of intellectual insight, as in the case of the two women, in seeing the situation clearly and then practically applying a solution that would reveal the true nature of each woman’s heart: right and wrong, good and evil. Just as he had asked of God.

For believers, wisdom enables us to objectively perceive all aspects of a situation — like weighing pros and cons — which then leads to making choices and decisions that align with rightness and godliness.

To arrive at such wisdom, however, is a lifelong pursuit of learning, reflection, and self-improvement. Hence, it tends to be older people, like parents and grandparents, who possess greater depths of wisdom. But that does not mean younger people cannot attain it, as we see in Solomon’s case.

Wisdom, therefore, is a skill all believers, regardless of age or stage, should not only possess but continually pursue.

How to obtain godly wisdom

Ask. At times we feel out of our depth at making a good decision. The way forward seems uncertain. Our thinking is clouded. We lack discernment to choose rightly. Yet often we still rush ahead and then suffer unintended consequences. Thus, we prove to be the fool in Proverbs 1:7, who despises wisdom and instruction. This is the last thing a child of God should be!

Therefore, it may seem too simplistic, but the right thing to do is to pause and ask God for wisdom. If you don’t ask for it, you won’t receive it. It’s that easy, says James: “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt . . .” (1:5, 6, emphasis mine).

So, ask. There is no shame in admitting that sometimes we don’t know what to do. Asking God actually reveals spiritual maturity.

Yet, notice the disclaimer in this passage to “believe and not doubt.” This means to believe wholeheartedly and unswervingly that God will give you the wisdom you’re asking for. Why wouldn’t He? As with Solomon, God wants us to succeed in our faith journey and with the tasks He’s set before us. So, ask in faith.

Ask with humility. In his request, Solomon revealed his vulnerability and incapability. At twenty years old, he knew he lacked the ability to lead the Israelites justly and rightly as their king. He knew the difficulty of discerning between good and evil, truth and lies. After all, the people he was to rule were prone to wandering, to stubbornness, to deceit, and to sin (as we all are). Situations were then, and are now, rarely black and white but shaded in a myriad of gray tones.

Humility requires that we acknowledge our weaknesses, our blind spots. In moments of uncertainty, we need to ask, even to plea, “Lord, please, will You give me wisdom for this situation? I don’t know what to do.”

Ask as a servant. Solomon also acknowledged his position as God’s “servant,” a familiar title for many key figures in the Bible: Moses, the prophets, and David.

These men recognized that they were in the service of God, working on His behalf on earth, not their own. Being called a “servant of the Lord” was not derogatory but a privilege. Solomon knew this, having seen his father model it. Solomon also knew that God’s servants often needed guidance. Servants rarely act alone, but always on the directive of the One in authority.

Ask with right motive. “To govern your people and to distinguish between right and wrong” was Solomon’s motive. It was a selfless request. He did not ask for himself but had a wider view in mind: God’s people and their well-being.

And how appropriate his motive was, for time and time again, Solomon was put to the test of judging God’s people.

We see, too, from Solomon’s story that when we ask for something with the right, godly motive, God is pleased to answer accordingly. Again, why wouldn’t He? The answer is to our and others’ spiritual benefit and to His glory.

Is it wrong, then, to ask for something personal, like a spouse, a child, that dream job? Not necessarily. Again, motive is the caveat. Ask yourself, “Can I live without that?” along with, “Is God alone my satisfaction, comfort, and provider?” Wisdom encourages us to pray for God’s will in all things. That may mean for some to remain single or childless or in a job that is unfulfilling but still provides for all earthly needs.

How to grow in wisdom

Does it surprise you that Jesus “grew in wisdom and stature” (Luke 2:52)? Wasn’t He the Son of God, even God incarnate? Wouldn’t He have been born already filled with all the wisdom He needed?

The answer is no. Jesus was also born fully human, with some apparent human limitations. He, too, had to grow both intellectually and physically. He had to experience the same normal development of all humans, from childhood to adulthood. 

Discernment, then, is a skill that must be developed. It requires time, patience, and practice to attain. But attainment is possible, and through these channels:

Prayer. This harkens back to asking for wisdom. God invites His children to “not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer, petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God” (Philippians 4:6).

Lacking wisdom in a difficult or uncertain situation often incites anxiety. This is precisely when we should humbly and openly approach God in prayer, with the request for wisdom.

Study. The entirety of Scripture, from Genesis to Revelation, “is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart” (Hebrews 4:12, KJV, emphasis mine).

God’s Word is the believer’s true source for wisdom in knowing God’s ways, in discerning right from wrong, good from evil. A lifelong study of its pages, particularly Proverbs — written by, you guessed it, Solomon — is guaranteed to enlighten and awaken our minds and, thus, to guide our steps all of our days. All of Scripture lends itself to wisdom, as a divine lamp that illuminates the darkened corners of our minds and hearts.

Reliance. Wisdom comes from the Holy Spirit, who immediately takes up residence in our hearts upon conversion. Yet so often we forget about Him and the power He can impart to us daily. He is a wealth of wisdom, for He can speak truth only because he is “the Spirit of truth, . . . [and] he will guide you into all the truth. He will not speak on his own; he will speak only what he hears” (John 16:13).

The Spirit is truth who hears only truth, and thus can speak only truth. How sad that we do not listen to Him more often and subsequently live and learn, according to the wisdom that comes from above — His wisdom that will never fail us nor lead us astray.

Worthy pursuit

“Blessed is the one who finds wisdom,” Proverbs 3:13 tells us (ESV). This happiness, not dependent on circumstances, is lasting and life-giving. It is sweet, like the honeycomb, and leads to a spiritually fulfilling life and future hope (24:13, 14).

Wisdom, Proverbs 16:16 says, is better and more precious than gold and a most worthy pursuit. Why? Because those who value wisdom will be exalted and honored (4:8). So pursue wisdom. Prize her about all else, Solomon says. And he should know, being the wisest man who ever was.

Scripture quotations are taken from the New International Version unless otherwise noted.