by Nakia Keim
Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies (Proverbs 31:10, NLT).
Proverbs 31 has been on my mind for several months now. My biggest desire is to be a wife and mother, but that has yet to happen. Still, I am grateful for the opportunity I have right now in my life. Some call it a season of singleness, but I call it a season of preparedness — a season in which I can ready myself to be the person God desires of me, a chance to practice the lifestyle of the Proverbs 31 woman.
Ways of the woman
It takes an enormous amount of patience, humility, selflessness, ambition, and strength to be this woman. Every day I must remind myself of this passage when I face trying situations: when I’m tired and it’s late and I still have to do housekeeping chores; when I find it easier to give in to selfishness than selflessness. I must remind myself that these challenges are practice for having my own household one day.
The Proverbs 31 woman puts others’ needs above her own. When she is among those near to her and they make a selfish choice, one that causes her discomfort, the right thing to do would be to let them have their way.
An example of this happened just recently. We were at a family fun center, and my youngest sister glued herself to me and insisted on doing all the fun things she was interested in. A limited number of activities were available, and I didn’t have a choice in even one we did.
The selfish thing to do would have been to tell my sister no and go do what I wanted to do, but the right thing was to let her choose all of our activities. Realistically, they were super fun for her, so letting her have a blast and enjoying the moment of being with her should have been enough for me. I had to keep reminding myself that she would have far more fun than I would. This was just practice for the day when I am a parent and I won’t get to make the selfish choice.
Thinking of others
You see, the Proverbs 31 woman puts others needs and wants above her own for the good of others. Do you think she wants to be up late sowing and up early planning? Do you think she wants to work preparing and selling and homemaking all day every day? Probably not. I’m sure she gets tired and wants a break.
But this woman doesn’t give in to her selfish desires, and she is praised and honored and blessed for it. The scripture says she suffers nothing from laziness. A woman with strength and dignity is secure in her abilities and knows her limits. She is careful to not give in to selfish desires or laziness.
Foundation
This time of limbo between being a child and being a mother is foundational for me to set the standard of excellence for myself. If I indulge in poor qualities now, I will find it far easier to indulge later when life is harder and more demanding. As a single woman, I do not have as many responsibilities as a homemaker and mother does, even though my days may be full and my capacity to keep up with everything is at its limit. This is the perfect time to practice that work habit and set a standard for myself.
I must take advantage of this stage of life to become the Proverbs 31 woman and use this time wisely.
Nakia Keim is the second oldest of seven children born to Richard and Janine (McAlexander) Keim. She works as a chiropractic assistant and personal trainer for her dad’s chiropractic clinic, and she teaches dance classes. Nakia is a youth leader for her local congregation (Eugene, OR), which has inspired her to dig deeper into the Scriptures and share her discoveries on a blog. You can visit it at https://deepthoughtswithnakia.com/.
