{"id":4826,"date":"2018-08-02T23:58:22","date_gmt":"2018-08-02T23:58:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/baonline.cog7engage.net\/?p=4826"},"modified":"2023-08-29T11:22:36","modified_gmt":"2023-08-29T17:22:36","slug":"hand-in-hand","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/baonline.cog7engage.net\/hand-in-hand\/","title":{"rendered":"Hand in Hand"},"content":{"rendered":"

A popular song of my day claimed that Catalina was the island of romance. I laughed at that silly notion. I was going there to learn more about the Bible and witnessing, not for romance. But God had a surprise for me.<\/p>\n

Near the end of the summer month of Christian training, our college group hiked over hilly terrain to the beaches of Avalon to witness. As I struggled up a steep slope, Milt, a student from my campus, took my hand and helped me up the trail.<\/p>\n

One year later, I took Milt\u2019s hand again \u2014 this time in marriage. That was fifty years ago. As we\u2019ve journeyed hand in hand together, God has guided and strengthened our relationship. Looking back, we can see His hand of love throughout the seasons of our marriage.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Love triangle<\/h2>\n

\u201cYou make a cute couple,\u201d a teacher at our daughter\u2019s high school recital said after the program. \u201cI want a marriage like yours.\u201d<\/p>\n

We thanked her and then looked at each other. We knew it wasn\u2019t Milt\u2019s balding head or my plain-Jane appearance that prompted her compliment. Perhaps she noticed us holding hands and saw the joy we shared during our daughter\u2019s performance. But we knew the real source went deeper.<\/p>\n

I wrote a note to the teacher. Drawing a triangle with the point on top, I jotted my name by one lower corner and Milt\u2019s by the other. At the triangle\u2019s peak, I wrote God<\/em>. I explained that as Milt and I drew closer to God, we also drew closer to each other.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Anger management<\/h2>\n

Twelve years later, our son had finished college and was getting married. \u201cDo you have any marriage tips?\u201d he asked. I gave him Ephesians 4:26: \u201cDo not let the sun go down on your anger\u201d (ESV). Milt and I had applied that verse many times throughout our marriage, making sure we resolved quarrels before going to sleep.<\/p>\n

I remember one night when Milt did something that upset me. I slipped into bed and built an invisible wall between us. Icy silence replaced our usual friendly chit-chat. Restless and unable to sleep, I prayed, \u201cGod, what does Milt need from me?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cUnconditional love,\u201d the Holy Spirit quickly prompted. As I lay awake, rehashing Milt\u2019s bad behavior and justifying mine, God\u2019s Spirit softened my heart and nudged me to apologize.<\/p>\n

Finally, I rolled over, tapped Milt on the shoulder, and said, \u201cHoney, my attitude was wrong. Will you forgive me?\u201d My peacemaker husband asked forgiveness too.<\/p>\n

The wall crumbled. We hugged and slept peacefully, again experiencing the truth that \u201ca happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.\u201d But we knew it was God who helped us forgive each other.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Keeping love alive<\/h2>\n

After my husband\u2019s cataract surgery, he needed drops in his eyes four times a day. As instructed, he kept his eyes closed for a minute after each drop. During that time, I\u2019d kiss him and tease, \u201cGuess who\u2019s kissing you.\u201d<\/p>\n

One day when our three-year-old granddaughter visited, she wanted to play along with us and take turns kissing Grandpa while his eyes were shut. The next time we saw her, she asked me, \u201cAre you still kissing Grandpa?\u201d I assured her I was.<\/p>\n

I smiled, too, knowing \u201clove is of God\u201d (1 John 4:7) and that God\u2019s love flowing through us to each other kept us kissing and holding hands.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Sustained in sickness<\/h2>\n

In my late fifties, I received shocking news of incurable cancer. Thankfully, it was treatable. This began a medical merry-go-round that shook our marriage and nearly took my life. My husband faithfully drove me to oncology appointments, chemotherapy treatments, and trips to the emergency room, where I wondered if I would return home. Milt chose to retire early to be there for me.<\/p>\n

Since we weren\u2019t certain we would make it to our fiftieth wedding anniversary, we planned a special fortieth anniversary party. Family and friends joined us to celebrate God\u2019s love to us and our love for each other.<\/p>\n

A decade after my devastating diagnosis, Milt developed serious life-changing medical problems, and I became his caregiver. Deeply saddened by his unexpected health prognosis, I added many tears to the bottles in heaven where God is storing them (Psalm 56:8). My motto became \u201ckiss more and criticize less.\u201d<\/p>\n

Recently, I have been reading the book of Job to gain perspective on hardship and suffering. No matter how much Milt and I struggle, we have experienced little hardship compared to Job\u2019s grief. His attitude in adversity inspires us. Although it\u2019s not easy, we want to embrace Job\u2019s outlook: \u201cShall we accept good from God, and not trouble?\u201d (Job 2:10, NIV); \u201cBlessed be the name of the Lord\u201d (1:21).<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Deepening love<\/h2>\n

One day, as we walked arm-in-arm into church, a gentleman asked, \u201cStill holding hands?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes,\u201d I replied, \u201cfor forty-six years, and we hope for many more.\u201d<\/p>\n

Now with arthritic knees, we not only express love by holding hands, we literally hold each other up (Ecclesiastes 4:9, 10). As we age, God\u2019s hand of love continues to fortify our relationship, and He helps us deepen our love. At medical appointments, when Milt\u2019s doctors ask him if he has fallen lately, he always replies, \u201cNot that kind of fall. Only falling more in love with my wife.\u201d<\/p>\n

In our seventies, we have decided to consider this season of life as our second honeymoon and do fun things together as often as possible. After our grandkids heard this, one of them asked, \u201cWhat did you do on your honeymoon today?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe had a pillow fight,\u201d I replied. Perhaps we are in our second childhood. And sometimes I say to Milt, \u201cCome sit by me, because we still make a cute couple.\u201d<\/p>\n

I\u2019m glad I took Milt\u2019s hand years ago. He continues to help me up the steep slopes of life as we journey together hand-in-hand with God.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Lydia E. Harris<\/strong> writes from Lake Forest Park, WA.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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