{"id":30418,"date":"2023-09-05T09:32:50","date_gmt":"2023-09-05T15:32:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/baonline.cog7engage.net\/?p=30418"},"modified":"2023-09-08T09:08:19","modified_gmt":"2023-09-08T15:08:19","slug":"just-what-i-always-didnt-want","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/baonline.cog7engage.net\/just-what-i-always-didnt-want\/","title":{"rendered":"Just What I Always Didn\u2019t Want"},"content":{"rendered":"

All the relatives gathered in the living room for the celebration. In the center, four-year-old Donny bounced up and down in front of his colorful gift pile.<\/p>\n

\u201cGo!\u201d his dad shouted.<\/p>\n

Grinning, Donny ripped into his first present. Demolishing paper and box, he held up the contents. But instead of squealing with delight, he dropped the gift \u2014 clothes! His shoulders slumped and he pouted. \u201cJust what I always didn\u2019t want!\u201d<\/p>\n

Immaturity? Yes. But we may all feel that way sometimes about situations life hands us.<\/p>\n

The Chelsea challenge<\/strong><\/h2>\n

When our older daughter was in high school, she asked if we would take in her best friend, who had been kicked out of her home. Adopted at birth, Chelsea* saw her adoptive parents\u2019 marriage disintegrate. A second marriage fared no better.<\/p>\n

One night under the influence of alcohol, her dad chased the family through the house with a loaded pistol. Another divorce. Chelsea stayed with her stepmother but soon got the boot.<\/p>\n

At seventeen, she couldn\u2019t afford to live on her own and feared her father\u2019s finding her. Since she practically lived at our house anyway, we welcomed her into our family with the stipulation she observe boundaries set for our own three teens. We promised we would never kick her out.<\/p>\n

All went well until friends encouraged Chelsea to balk. She began testing us to see if we would keep our promise. My heart broke each time she argued bitterly about curfews and questionable activities. It seemed like a kick in the teeth.<\/p>\n

Just what we always didn\u2019t want.<\/p>\n

Cultivating contentment <\/strong><\/h2>\n

When you get that coveted college diploma, you never think that twenty years later you\u2019ll be struggling financially. When you marry, you never anticipate an unfaithful spouse. When you start a family, you never imagine a child\u2019s scary medical diagnosis. When you take a new job, you never foresee co-workers spreading lies about you on social media. When you dream bright-future dreams, you never believe they can quickly vaporize.<\/p>\n

Because we can\u2019t know what life will bring, our challenge is to cultivate contentment no matter what. The apostle Paul, who suffered much in his lifetime, said, \u201cI have learned<\/em> the secret of being content in any and every situation\u201d (Philippians 4:12, NIV, emphasis mine).<\/p>\n

But what happens when life hands us just what we always didn\u2019t want? It\u2019s often natural to complain, retaliate, or bail out.<\/p>\n

Complaining<\/strong><\/h2>\n

During the 1995 US Open semifinals, German tennis star Boris Becker complained that the umpires were favoring American players. After a particularly close corner shot by Andre Agassi, Becker pointed to the corner and looked up to the chair umpire. \u201cOne?\u201d he cried. \u201cJust one something for me?\u201d<\/p>\n

Complaining allows us to let off a little steam, but does it change anything? For Becker, it only antagonized the umpire, alienated spectators, and perhaps led to his defeat. Habitual complaining about life\u2019s \u201clemons\u201d sours our personality, repulses people around us, and worst of all, displeases Almighty God (Numbers 11:1).<\/p>\n

But what good is Retaliation<\/strong><\/h2>\n

The desire to retaliate also comes naturally, but it isn\u2019t healthy.<\/p>\n

African-American John Perkins grew up in Mississippi during the raw racial hatred of the 1960s. After his brother was killed by a white man, John wanted to get even, but he never got the chance.<\/p>\n

In his book Let Justice Roll Down<\/em>, Perkins describes an incident in 1970. [Deleted her footnote and put it in Sources folder] In 1970, A highway patrol officer, full of hate against civil rights marchers, pulled over a van of black student demonstrators on a deserted stretch of highway. Arresting them, he and his backup unleashed curses, insults, and threats. During booking, the officers kicked them and beat them with billy clubs.<\/p>\n

Perkins went to bail out the students but walked into a trap. He was beaten and stomped into bloody unconsciousness. The officers\u2019 faces twisted with hate, Perkins recalls, but he couldn\u2019t hate back. \u201cI could only pity them. I didn\u2019t ever want hate to do to me what it had already done to them.<\/p>\n

Perkins knew that God says, \u201cVengeance is Mine, I will repay\u201d (Romans 12:19).<\/p>\n

But what good is Bailing out<\/strong><\/h2>\n

Sometimes our natural reaction is the futile attempt to bail out.<\/p>\n

When a marriage doesn\u2019t live up to expectations, some people give up. Separation. Divorce.<\/p>\n

When life\u2019s pressures overwhelm us, some surrender to anything that will numb the pain. Substance abuse. Addiction.<\/p>\n

When problems obscure all reasons for living, some give up. Withdrawal from society. Even suicide.<\/p>\n

But obviously no future exists in those responses either. So how can we handle all those just-what-I-always-didn\u2019t-want situations?<\/p>\n

Doing what doesn\u2019t<\/em> come naturally Vision adjustments<\/strong><\/h2>\n

A comically nearsighted vintage cartoon character, Mr. Magoo, bumped into one calamity after another \u2014 literally. Maybe some of our disappointments and difficulties are heightened by a Mr. Magoo syndrome. We become severely nearsighted, and, unfortunately, it\u2019s not funny. But a couple of vision adjustments can often help us find contentment. We can choose to look beyond the immediate and look outward rather than inward.<\/p>\n

Looking beyond the immediate<\/strong><\/h2>\n

In ancient Egypt, a man named Joseph learned to look beyond the immediate. Hated by his brothers, he was sold as a slave, falsely accused of raping the pharaoh\u2019s wife, unjustly imprisoned, and deprived of credit for securing another inmate\u2019s release. Talk about \u201cJust what I always didn\u2019t want\u201d!<\/p>\n

Years later, Joseph did the inconceivable: He forgave his brothers for setting in motion that evil chain reaction. He said, in effect, \u201cYou did it because you wanted to hurt me, but God had good purposes\u201d (Genesis 50:20, paraphrased).<\/p>\n

Joseph looked to God for strength to get through those horrendous circumstances. As he did, he became leadership material in the government\u2019s eyes. And ultimately Joseph saved the lives of his brothers, and many others, because he chose to look beyond the immediate, reject hate, and trust God for the future.<\/p>\n

Jesus set the ultimate standard: \u201cYou have heard that it was said,\u00a0\u2018You shall love your neighbor\u00a0and hate your enemy.\u2019\u00a0But I say to you,\u00a0love your enemies . . . do good to those who hate you\u201d (Matthew 5:43, 44).<\/p>\n

If we let go of our hurts, hatred, and vengeful desires, we can persevere through tough times.<\/p>\n

Looking outward instead of inward<\/strong><\/h2>\n

Corolee Pier was a woman who wanted, more than anything, to have lots of children. But she and her husband, Alan, couldn\u2019t have children of their own, and the idea of adoption didn\u2019t interest them. \u201cI didn\u2019t feel Alan could ever love a child that wasn\u2019t his own flesh and blood,\u201d Corolee admitted.<\/p>\n

Although she had been a meticulous housekeeper, anger and depression over their childlessness robbed her of homecare interests. One afternoon, when she discovered how cluttered the basement had become, her anger exploded. \u201cIf our belongings can\u2019t be neat and tidy, we shouldn\u2019t keep them at all,\u201d she said. She swung open the basement window and began pitching things \u2014 books, trash, magazines, precious letters, \u201ceverything that wasn\u2019t tidy,\u201d she recalled.<\/p>\n

Corolee grew so inwardly focused that she couldn\u2019t think about anything but the denial of her solitary heart\u2019s desire.<\/p>\n

A different focus and outcome<\/strong><\/h2>\n

But Corolee also began to see that God could be her strength, \u201ca\u00a0very present help in trouble\u201d (Psalm 46:1). She started focusing outward, and opportunities arose for \u201cmothering\u201d and teaching neighborhood children about God.<\/p>\n

Ultimately, Corolee and Alan Pier became house parents in a group home, caring for children whose parents were imprisoned. Many children had been victims of unspeakable abuse and incest. Some witnessed their father murder their mother.<\/p>\n

Over a period of twenty years, Corolee and Alan lovingly parented nearly seventy children! Many of them also learned to look beyond themselves, developing faith in God. And Corolee found a contentment she couldn\u2019t have imagined.<\/p>\n

Switching focus<\/strong><\/h2>\n

Adjusting our vision to look beyond ourselves helps us do what we can and leave the rest in God\u2019s hands.<\/p>\n

For my husband and me, that meant continuing to love and provide for Chelsea no matter what she said or did to us. It wasn\u2019t easy. We made mistakes. But we kept our promise and leaned heavily on God to keep going, despite feelings of failure when she moved out, trying to make it on her own.<\/p>\n

The other side<\/strong><\/h2>\n

Ultimately, that experience made me realize how God may feel about us sometimes. He created us. He provides what we need. Yet we often try to write our own rules, live the way we please, and, in essence, kick Him in the teeth. But He loves us much more than we can ever love anyone. \u201cSee what great love\u00a0the Father has lavished<\/em> on us\u201d (1 John 3:1, NIV, emphasis added).<\/p>\n

He keeps pursuing us, placing little reminders of His love in our path so we will seek Him and admit we need Him. You see, Jesus said, \u201cSeek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you\u201d (Matthew 6:33).<\/p>\n

In every \u201cJust what we always didn\u2019t want,\u201d we can trust God, look beyond the immediate, focus outward, and do what we can, ultimately trusting Him in everything. A relationship with God through His Son, Jesus Christ, can give us strength, and, yes, even contentment, in any situation.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Scripture quotations are from the New King James Version<\/em> unless otherwise noted.<\/p>\n

*<\/em>Name and some details changed.<\/em><\/p>\n

Joyce K. Ellis<\/strong> has published hundreds of articles and eighteen books, including Our Heart Psalms<\/em>, an interactive devotional book. She has also written One Minute Bible for Kids<\/em>, winner of the Gold Medallion Award (out of print), The Fabulous World That God Made <\/em>(picture book), and Write with Excellence 201<\/em>. Joyce lives in Eden Prairie, MN.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

All the relatives gathered in the living room for the celebration. In the center, four-year-old Donny bounced up and down in front of his colorful gift pile. \u201cGo!\u201d his dad shouted. Grinning, Donny ripped into his first present. Demolishing paper and box, he held up the contents. But instead of squealing with delight, he dropped […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":18,"featured_media":30437,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"sync_status":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"","castos_file_data":"","podmotor_file_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"","filesize":"","filesize_raw":"","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[37,44,2516],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\nJust What I Always Didn\u2019t Want - Bible Advocate<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/baonline.cog7engage.net\/just-what-i-always-didnt-want\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Just What I Always Didn\u2019t Want - Bible Advocate\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"All the relatives gathered in the living room for the celebration. 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