{"id":27998,"date":"2021-12-30T08:52:10","date_gmt":"2021-12-30T15:52:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/baonline.cog7engage.net\/?p=27998"},"modified":"2023-08-29T11:33:01","modified_gmt":"2023-08-29T17:33:01","slug":"how-to-find-the-love-of-your-life","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/baonline.cog7engage.net\/how-to-find-the-love-of-your-life\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Find the Love of Your Life"},"content":{"rendered":"

At sixteen years old, I found the love of my life at a Salvation Army camp. Three years later, we were married. There aren\u2019t enough words in the English language, not enough words in all the languages on earth, to express how wonderful it is to find the love of your life. I consider it the greatest accomplishment of my life.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m no expert, but I think I can share, not from my experience alone but, much more importantly, from the wisdom of God\u2019s Word, how to find the person you\u2019ll still love \u2014 still like \u2014 after ten or twenty or, in our case, more than forty years. By looking at seven examples from the Bible, I hope to suggest a helpful outline for finding the love of your life.<\/p>\n

1. Look beyond looks<\/strong><\/h2>\n

The Bible tells the story of Samson, a strong man with a weakness for women. After the account of his birth, his story begins:<\/p>\n

Samson\u00a0went down to Timnah\u00a0and saw there a young Philistine woman. When he returned, he said to his father and mother, \u201cI have seen a Philistine woman in Timnah; now get her for me as my wife.\u201d<\/p>\n

His father and mother replied, \u201cIsn\u2019t there an acceptable woman among your relatives or among all our people?\u00a0Must you go to the uncircumcised\u00a0Philistines to get a wife?\u201d<\/p>\n

But Samson said to his father, \u201cGet her for me. She\u2019s the right one for me\u201d (Judges 14:1-3).<\/p>\n

The Bible doesn\u2019t say Samson met this woman; it says he saw her. He apparently didn\u2019t know her at all; in fact, the account never even refers to her by name. That seems significant. Her name, family, background, values \u2014 even her religion \u2014 were apparently unimportant to Samson. He knew only one thing: \u201cI want her.\u201d<\/p>\n

A person\u2019s outward appearance may attract you, but it shouldn\u2019t persuade you. \u201cLove at first sight\u201d is not love; it is attraction. That doesn\u2019t mean it\u2019s bad. It just means it\u2019s incomplete.<\/p>\n

So don\u2019t be like Samson. Look beyond the outward appearance when looking for the love of your life.<\/p>\n

2. Look away from someone who\u2019s taken<\/strong><\/h2>\n

There are many things about David, the shepherd king of Israel that we would do well to emulate and imitate. Not this, however:<\/p>\n

One evening David got up from his bed and walked around on the roof of the palace. From the roof he saw a woman bathing. The woman was very beautiful, and David sent someone to find out about her. The man said, \u201cShe is Bathsheba,\u00a0the daughter of Eliam\u00a0and the wife of Uriah\u00a0the Hittite.\u201d Then David sent messengers to get her (2 Samuel 11:2-4).<\/p>\n

David may have become a man after God\u2019s heart, but in this he was a man after another man\u2019s wife. That\u2019s obviously not<\/em> how to find the love of your life. Don\u2019t be looking on someone else\u2019s roof. Don\u2019t flirt with someone else\u2019s sweetheart. Don\u2019t try to take someone who\u2019s taken.<\/p>\n

Look away. Look elsewhere. Look for someone who\u2019s not already taken.<\/p>\n

3. Let God lead<\/strong><\/h2>\n

When Joseph of Nazareth was engaged to be married to Mary, he discovered that she was pregnant. Maybe he\u2019d thought he\u2019d found the love of his life, yet from all appearances, she\u2019d betrayed his love and become pregnant with a child that was not Joseph\u2019s.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s when God entered the picture in a big way. The Bible says:<\/p>\n

An angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins” (Matthew 1:20, 21).<\/p>\n

That\u2019s happened only once, of course, but there\u2019s still a lesson in it. If you want to find the love of your life, let God lead. Let Him speak. Involve Him in the decision. Don\u2019t leap before you let God lead. Ask Him for help. Agree to His standards. And accept His timing.<\/p>\n

4. Learn all you can<\/strong><\/h2>\n

Boaz lived in Bethlehem and was minding his own business (literally) when a woman showed up in his barley field. He noticed her, but unlike Samson, he didn\u2019t say, \u201cI want her\u201d or \u201cGet her for me.\u201d Instead, the Bible says:<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/sup><\/strong>Boaz asked the overseer of his harvesters, \u201cWho does that young woman belong to?\u201d<\/p>\n

The overseer replied, \u201cShe is the Moabite\u00a0who came back from Moab with Naomi. She said, \u2018Please let me glean and gather among the sheaves\u00a0behind the harvesters.\u2019 She came into the field and has remained here from morning till now, except for a short rest\u00a0in the shelter.\u201d<\/p>\n

So Boaz said to Ruth, \u201cMy daughter, listen to me. Don\u2019t go and glean in another field and don\u2019t go away from here. Stay here with the women who work for me\u201d (Ruth 2:5-8).<\/p>\n

Boaz was interested, so he started by asking the right questions, listening closely, and learning from the answers. If you would find the love of your life, ask the right questions, learn all you can, do your homework, give it time. Explore. Discuss. Observe. Reflect.<\/p>\n

This is one reason premarital sex is damaging to a relationship. When couples become physically intimate before marriage, they tend to neglect the heart-to-heart talks that would build true intimacy, never asking the right questions because they substituted physical intimacy for spiritual and emotional intimacy.<\/p>\n

5. Look in all the right places<\/strong><\/h2>\n

As Boaz was noticing the widow Ruth, Ruth was noticing Boaz. And Ruth\u2019s mother-in-law, Naomi, was noticing them notice each other:<\/p>\n

One day Ruth\u2019s mother-in-law Naomi\u00a0said to her, \u201cMy daughter, I must find a home\u00a0for you, where you will be well provided for. Now Boaz, with whose women you have worked, is a relative\u00a0of ours. Tonight he will be winnowing barley on the threshing floor. Wash,\u00a0put on perfume,\u00a0and get dressed in your best clothes.\u00a0Then go down to the threshing floor, but don\u2019t let him know you are there until he has finished eating and drinking. When he lies down, note the place where he is lying. Then go and uncover his feet and lie down. He will tell you what to do.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI will do whatever you say,\u201d\u00a0Ruth answered (3:1-5).<\/p>\n

Naomi\u2019s advice sounds strange in our culture, but this was harvest time. When the threshing was done, they held a great feast, and all the families came up and camped around the threshing floor. After the feast, the men would sleep around the grain, to guard it, with their heads toward the grain in the center and their feet sticking out like spokes. Naomi was simply telling Ruth to put herself in the path of the best candidate for \u201clove of my life.\u201d<\/p>\n

In their book Finding Mr. Right<\/em>, Steve Arterburn and Dr. Meg Rinck write:<\/p>\n

If you are looking for a musician . . . go where musicians hang out. If you want a scholar, you had best look in a college or university setting. We have all heard the complaint that \u201cthere are not any good men out there,\u201d but sometimes the reason you do not find a good man is that you do not look where the good men are.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t look for love \u201cin all the wrong places,\u201d as the popular song says; look in the right places.<\/p>\n

6. Let it slumber<\/strong><\/h2>\n

King Solomon is hardly the poster child for good romance decisions. He had multiple wives and concubines, but he is credited with writing the Bible\u2019s peerless love poem, the Song of Solomon. That poem to the purity and beauty of married sexuality contains wisdom for anyone who hopes to find the love of a lifetime. It\u2019s in the form of the poem\u2019s refrain, a couplet that occurs three times in the book:<\/p>\n

Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you:<\/p>\n

Do not arouse or awaken love<\/p>\n

until it so desires (Song of Songs 8:4).<\/p>\n

Maybe Solomon made enough mistakes in romance to finally get a clue. If you would find the love of your life, don\u2019t get impatient. Don\u2019t rush into anything. Take your time. Patience may delay your dreams a few months \u2014 even years \u2014 but impatience<\/em> will more likely derail them. Let love slumber until it’s time.<\/p>\n

7. Look to yourself<\/strong><\/h2>\n

The book of Genesis tells the story of Jacob, the patriarch. The first part of his story portrays him as a lying, scheming little mama\u2019s boy who eventually had to skip town to avoid his twin brother\u2019s wrath. He ran all the way to a relative\u2019s home where he met Rachel and fell in love. Since Jacob had little to offer, he and Rachel\u2019s father, Laban, agreed that Jacob would give seven years of work in exchange for Rachel\u2019s hand in marriage.<\/p>\n

Seven years later, however, Laban pulled a fast one. When Jacob removed his new wife\u2019s veil, it was not Rachel but her sister, Leah, he had married. So Jacob worked seven more<\/em> years, and finally, fourteen years after falling in love, he married the love of his life. On his homeward journey, the Bible says:<\/p>\n

Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak. When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob\u2019s hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man. Then the man said, \u201cLet me go, for it is daybreak.\u201d<\/p>\n

But Jacob replied, \u201cI will not let you go unless you bless me.\u201d<\/p>\n

The man asked him, \u201cWhat is your name?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cJacob,\u201d he answered.<\/p>\n

Then the man said, \u201cYour name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God and with humans and have overcome\u201d (Genesis 32:24-28).<\/p>\n

Jacob was a different man than the schemer who had run away from home. He had struggled but he had overcome. He had grown. He was named Israel, which means \u201cstrives with God.\u201d<\/p>\n

If you hope to find the love of your life, then look beyond looks and look away from someone who\u2019s taken. Let God lead, learn all you can, and look in all the right places. Let it slumber. And look to yourself. Strive \u2014 however long it takes \u2014 to become the man or woman of someone\u2019s dreams, and you will more likely find\u00a0 the man or woman of your dreams.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

At sixteen years old, I found the love of my life at a Salvation Army camp. Three years later, we were married. There aren\u2019t enough words in the English language, not enough words in all the languages on earth, to express how wonderful it is to find the love of your life. I consider it […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":311,"featured_media":27999,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"sync_status":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"","castos_file_data":"","podmotor_file_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"","filesize":"","filesize_raw":"","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1996,44],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\nHow to Find the Love of Your Life - Bible Advocate<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/baonline.cog7engage.net\/how-to-find-the-love-of-your-life\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How to Find the Love of Your Life - Bible Advocate\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"At sixteen years old, I found the love of my life at a Salvation Army camp. 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